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Connecting With Your Dating Partner Without Any Lighting, Wine Or Even Lingerie!
A journalist interviewed me concerning intimacy in relationships. One of her questions was, "What are some of the simple ways in which husband and wife can bond without candles and wine and expensive lingerie?"
Easy ways? Well, it depends on what you mean by easy!
Bonding has nothing at all to do with candles, wine and costly lingerie. It has to do with intent. In any given moment we are in one of two possible intents:
-The intention to have control over getting love and avoiding pain.
-The intent to learn about being loving to ourselves and to others.
Virtually all of us have learned many ways of trying to have control over obtaining love and avoiding pain. We learned these protective behaviors when we were children, and as adults we unconsciously continue these kinds of learned controlling behaviors, such as anger, criticism, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance.
For most people, these protective, controlling behaviors have become automatic and habitual. As soon as any worry is triggered, we automatically protect against the pain by quarrelling, blaming, attacking, judging, shutting down, resisting, or giving in.
Ironically, when the intent is to get love or steer clear of pain, what we create is a lack of love and much pain. Our intent to control brings about the very things we are trying to stay away from with our controlling behavior.
If both are open to learning, then they will be emotionally available to each other and may bond with a touch, a smile, or a kind word. Bonding has to do with the energy between them, not with anything external like candles, and the energy comes from their intent.
A controlling intention creates a heavy, dark, hard, closed-hearted energy, while the open-to-learning intent creates a light, soft, open-hearted energy.
Developing the capability to make a conscious choice regarding your intent is a learning process. The hallmark of higher consciousness is being able to choose your intent every moment, even in the face of fear.
To help you through this learning process, double your dating advice from daviddeangelo is a great way to practice being open to other people. His double-your-dating advice provide you with specific details on how to handle dating situations properly.
When relationship partners are both in a position to reliably choose to be open to learning about loving themselves and each other, they create a sweet and safe environment for their love to grow. Then candles, vacations, and lingerie can enhance their experience with each other - the icing on the cake.
The concept is simple, but doing it is far from simple. Yet, devoting yourself to learning to remain open to learning in the face of fear may be the most fulfilling and rewarding experiences in your life!
Connecting With Your Dating Partner Without Any Lighting, Wine Or Even Lingerie! Many partners really try to bond with candles, wine or lingerie, only to find their time together feeling flat, empty and passionless. In this informative article, discover what genuinely creates bonding, intimacy and passion with your partner.
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